I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
