well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
