The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
