Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize