Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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