So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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