I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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