also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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