nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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