you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
