using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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