every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
