so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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