i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
