Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
