you guys were way drunker than both of me
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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