I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
