im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
