Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
