We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
