You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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