I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
