You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
