You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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