Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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