nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you win again, gameday.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
