why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
