well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
