Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize