I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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