Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Someone signed my nipple.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
