she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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