Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
