..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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