i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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