Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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