Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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