I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
