Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
