Quick, to the slutcave!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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