Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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