I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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