Having a random hookup so left but love u
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
