Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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