When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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