I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
