Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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