"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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