So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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