watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
