Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
