you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
