Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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