Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It's never too late to be topless.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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