"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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