I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
