It's like God shit irony all over that family
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
