dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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