that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
