I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I skipped work to stalk him.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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